Parenting Tip – Keeping Your Cool When Your Child Acts Up
Parents will get angry at their kids at one point. Nothing is wrong with getting angry because anger serves as a message. But, the only problem is that you cannot clearly hear this message while you are angry. When you are in the midst of that situation, you freeze, flight, or fight. And when you are in fight mode, your kid becomes your enemy and the result is that you think you should conquer your enemy, who happens to be your child in this case.
A kid acting up is more than enough to provoke your anger but instead of letting yourself be pushed to the darker side, keeping your cool is more important. Here are a few tips to help you ensure that you will conquer your anger and not your child.
Take a Pause
Just when you feel that you are on the verge of yelling and going down that wrong path, take a pause. Breathe deeply and stop for a moment. Close your mouth even when you are still saying something. Never feel embarrassed because this is a great way to show your child how to manage anger properly.
Acknowledge Your Annoyance
There are times when you don’t really notice it until you reach the darker side. But, most of the time, you will notice that your annoyance is already building because you start finding more reasons to be annoyed. You recall all of your child’s bad behaviors. The moment you do this, it becomes harder to avoid the surge of emotions. If you notice that your mind chatter regarding your kid is negative, try to stop and take a deep breath to stop your anger.
Never try addressing the issue with your kid while you are angry. You should calm down and re-focused so you may hear the message behind your anger.
Shift Your State
Reframe your thoughts regarding the situation to make various feelings. If you are thinking that your kid should be taught a big lesson, you will be angry. Once you remind yourself that she is acting like a kid because she or he is and that your child needs your love most when she deserves it, you will be able to shift your anger.
Feel Your Body’s Emotions
It doesn’t mean that you should swallow your anger. Just resist acting on that. But rather, notice the anger in the body and feel the tightness in your belly. Breathe into such tense places. As you open the feelings to your body, you will feel them starting to melt and shift. That is the secret of mindfulness. If you sit with the emotions, just accept them with compassion.
Never Stop Practicing
It requires practice and hard work to keep cool once your child acts up. You can teach your brain some self-discipline patterns, but it takes practice. However, there is nothing you should worry about as you resist acting whenever you are angry, you are rewiring your brain. With this, managing anger is much easier once you do it.